April 02, 2004
maybe it's just me but growing up freaks me out.
hannah and jess are going to UA this fall, ray's mailing me his grad pic. herman's going to waterloo. who knows where erica's going...micah's talking about pre-med and pre-dentistry, even kimmee's gonna be in U. soon everyone will be all grown up, working a job, married with kids...and i'll still be here drawing my lil pictures and dancing on my own lil stage. scared of being left behind? maybe i am. what if i don't grow up? getting older scares me more than a bit. not all the responsibility or the living on my own and making my own decisions because i'd like that but the fact that i'll be *older*. not that it's a bad thing. maybe i'm afraid of change, or all the changes that come with the passage of time. my philosophy teacher would call this an existentialist dilemma. i call this the peter pan syndrome.
*the lady protesteth so!* hahahahaha. sorry inside joke.
note to ray: i REALLY want to go to your grad. pleeeeez ask me to your grad. and purchase the plane tickets for me? thanx, vma ^^
March 30, 2004
like the deep darkness of a space
from which a star disappeared
is the passing of one loved by all.
the world no longer is so bright.
the freakiest thing about death is that...you keep expecting to see the person just around the corner as always and then painfully realizing over and over again that ... you never will.
March 29, 2004
someone left fresh strawberries in my locker. and i'm not quite sure who...
first thought: oh how sweet ^^
followed by: hope they're not poisoned...
then: wonder how they got in there!
and lastly: they're probably from my locker partner.
hahaha turns out they're not. so i'm still left in the dark.
March 28, 2004
let me tell you about my boss
she's the kind of lady that makes you want to cringe so that you're about the height of your shoes. Not that she's particularly scathing or dismissive. she's...a normal boss. but she's got this really stern face complete with all the frown lines set in the right places so that even when she's laughing (which is rare) she'll make it look forced. and to frail-hearted souls like me, she's the scariest person i've ever met. every time i call to say i can't come to work, my knees are knocking, i'm stuttering, my voice is shaking, general scariness complete with the big round deer caught in headlights eyes. all because i can't make it to work one day. i guess it's good in the sense that if i get it in my head to call in sick (which i only did once) i'll rethink crossing her you-exasperating-gnat tone of voice. in short: i'm very very scared of my boss.
and then there's this other guy that works here that asked one day if i was hawaiian. do i look very hawaiian to you? i'd like to be in hawaii....mmm....
